Dear God, I turn 50 today

Dear God, I turn 50 today

Thank you for enabling me to reach this wondrous milestone in my life.

Thank you for allowing me to wake up to the sound of my husband’s snoring — to have this man next to me who loves me through good and bad times — who cares for me and supports me when I am sometimes irrational yet fully convinced of my unfaltering sanity.

Thank you for the glow of the moon that peaks through my bedroom window, and greets me as I awaken.

Dear God, thank you for allowing me to live another day.

Thank you for the hot shower that I am privileged to take, and for the hair I still have left to shampoo.

Thank you for the power to change my brown hair to blonde, to be free to make choices about my body and my life.

Thank you for the capacity to brush my still intact teeth, and for the healthcare that makes this result possible.

Thank you for the natural elements that provide me with peace - the sun and the rain and the beautiful trees.

Thank you for the superficial makeup that can make me feel beautiful when I look frightening.

Thank you for the joy of seeing my sweet dog look up at me from her slumber, with precious, connected eyes. Thank you for the ability to rub her belly, give her love, and make her feel happy and cared for.

Thank you for the miraculous gift of seeing my youngest daughter perched up in her bed. Thank you for the laughter she creates, as she comments about the absurdity of human beings waking up so early. Thank you for this most precious and extraordinary soul. Thank you again and again.

Thank you for the most awe-inspiring gift of being a mother.

Thank you for giving me the knowledge to tell her that she shouldn’t wake up and look at her cell phone - that social media and computers first thing in the morning overwhelm her brain and over time, mimic the brain scan of someone with severe trauma. Thank you God, for her ability to roll her eyes and convey that I am annoying.

Thank you for giving me the able hands to cook breakfast for myself and my daughter, to nurture both of us with the food you have enabled me to work for, to receive. Thank you for my oatmeal and blueberries, and the quiet time I have alone to be peaceful as I savor my hazelnut coffee.

Thank you for the chain of beings that made my food possible.

Thank you for the opportunity to be mindful - to breathe, engage my senses, and feel fully present in the moment.

Thank you for the gift of shelter, clothing and food, that not everyone is privileged to have.

Thank you, God, for the miracle of my life.

Thank you for allowing me to have a car to drive my daughter to school, and to know that she has friends who love and care for her. Thank you for her ability to learn, to study, and to receive an education.

Thank you, God, for the music I listen to each day, that lights my soul. Thank you for the gift of art that other people share with the world, their inner feelings spilled out on canvas and page.

Thank you God, for the ability to go to the gym, to have a body that allows me to walk, exercise and take care of myself.

I do not take these things for granted.

Thank you, God, for letting me survive breast cancer. Twice.

Thank you for the ability to do push-ups - to both physically and psychologically hold myself up - after life has sometimes pushed me down.

Thank you for my gym community, the great people I see everyday who love me.

Thank you for my ability to do work I love, for granting me wonderful education that has trained me to be a psychologist. Thank you for providing me with a few special mentors who were willing to teach me to become better.

Thank you, God, for the privilege and honor of helping other people for my livelihood. Thank you for the gift that you have bestowed upon me, wherein these souls share their most private pain, and allow me to walk alongside their life journey.

Thank you for showing me that we are all the same at our core, just wanting to be loved.

Thank you for the capability to write, create, share my ideas, and leave some mark on the world.

Thank you, God, for these incredible gifts. I am so fortunate. I am so blessed.

Thank you for allowing me to be free, to have choices, to have independence. Thank you for all of the people who have made this possible.

Thank you, God, for the individuals in my life who love me - for my beloved family and friends who are there to share my joy, as well as my pain. Thank you for the hugs, phone calls and acts of every day care that allow me to feel loved.

Thank you for granting me the ability to give my children opportunities, as my eldest daughter is currently traveling overseas. Thank you, God, for allowing me to be the mother of such a beautiful, compassionate, unique soul.

Thank you for the gift and privilege of teaching my children to be good people. Thank you for the blessing that they confide in me, share their secrets with me, and trust me.

Thank you for the joy of watching them grow - from the hand-made cards constructed from macaroni, to the dance recitals, soccer games, track meets and Brownie troop meetings. Thank you for the sleepovers, princess dresses, hair wraps, Hannah Montana songs, talent shows, playdates and proms. Thank you for these precious moments - they are amongst the most beautiful life has to offer.

Thank you again and again, God, for my family, these wondrous blessings.

Thank you for the family members who are no longer here, who have touched my life immeasurably, and made me who I am. Thank you for the chance I had to love them.

Thank you for all I have experienced in my life - from the mistakes I made that helped me learn - to the adventures I had that illuminated my spirit - to the people I met along the way who helped shape me.

Thank you for my childhood, from games of kickball with my brother and sister, to seeing the world from atop the shoulders of my father, to making tie-dye shirts with my mother.

Thank you for all that has made me me- even the pain, as it has deepened my soul and created within me a more compassionate being.

I welcome 50 with open arms. I wasn’t always certain I would see this day, and I am so incredibly grateful for this life I have.